depressed.
i haven’t been on here in forever. i just need to vent and get this all out somewhere..
i’m so fucking depressed. i just don’t know where to turn. i honestly came to the realization last night that no matter if things work out or if they don’t, i’ll be happy. i just hope i can realize which way it’s going to go soon because the way things are, i can’t take it. i’m so tired of being sad and feeling unappreciated and disrespected constantly. i want to be happy again. if things are going to get better, wonderful. if not, i have a lot of work ahead of me, but i think i’ll be able to handle it. it will be tough and i’m sure there will be a lot of stress and tears, but i’ll be able to push through. i would have to. i think i’d be able to honestly smile and mean it again.
i’m depressed because i want to be in school. it’s virtually impossible right now and it kills me. if i wanted to go to school for something that i could take online classes for, it would be so fucking easy. i want to do something hands on though.. cosmetology or culinary. i would love to be able to do either, but it’s impossible. i work 7-3:30 everyday and then i’m fulltime mommy from 4-6:30am. it kills me when i hear everyone talking about how much they love school and it kills me even more to see people waste their time and not give a fuck about it. i regret so much the time i wasted. i wish i wouldn’t have been a dumbass and went to school for something i wanted after dropping out of wilkes rather than becoming a bum. i hate myself for it and it’s something i’ll never forgive myself for.
i’ve been in so much pain lately. i try to do everything i can around the house, but it’s hard when you hurt so bad you can’t stand up straight. it’s shitty when you try your best to do what you can but it goes unappreciated.
i don’t know where to go from here, but i’ll continue to put on my happy face and pretend not to care.
hxcfairy | thekick- | joaniesobliviousboobs | narcissistic-tendencies | et al | neverforgets
Sarah Silverman’s Message To America, On Gay Suicide
(via jewnicorn666)
WARPED TOUR 2011 BAND ROSTER:
These are the bands on the roster as of now. The roster will increase in time :D
VANS WARPED TOUR 2011
..Main Stage..
All Time Low (pepper spray not included)
Circa Survive
A Day To Remember
Flogging Molly
Isles & Glaciers
Jimmy Eat World
NoFX
Something Corporate
Snoop Dogg (i think it’d go over well and he’d fit in)
Rise Against
New Found Gloy
Devil Wears Prada
(Paramore, No Doubt, Sugar Ray, Underoath, and The Offspring each play 1-3 select shows throughout the tour)
..Hurley Stage..
Craig Owens’ new band (unnamed right now)
The Maine
Forever The Sickest Kids
Four Year Strong
Good Charlotte
Anberlin
The Adolescents
Say Anything
Bayside
Taking Back Sunday
Job For a Cowboy
..Hurly.com Stage..
Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band
The Gallows (they need to be on more often. they’re perfect for warped)
Norma Jean
Mayday Parade
Bury Your Dead
Rancid
Bloodhound Gang
Halifax
Big D and the Kids Table
Cinematic Sunrise
A Skylit Drive
Innerpartysystem
..Smartpunk Stage..
Hit The Lights
The Dirty Heads
A Rocket To The Moon
Sky Eats Airplane
Dance Gavin Dance
Scotch Greens
Flyleaf
Anna Smile (amazing! band)
Alesana
Ivoryline
..Ernie Ball stage..
The Dangerous Summer
Chase Long Beach
Farewell
Ice Nine Kills
The Sleeping
Watchout! There’s Ghosts
Thirteen Yards To Victory
The Strokes (would be cool honestly)
These Green Eyes
Minus The Bear
..Skullcandy Stage..
Cady Groves
P.O.S.
Hopes Die Last
Los Kung Fu Monkeys
Search The City
Show Me The Skyline
Smudge
Children 18:3
Flannel Mouth
She Screams Remedy
The Casting Out
..Kevin Says Stage..
Tonight Alive
An Evening With
We Are The Union (great ska/punk band)
FM Static
Good With Grenades
Old Crow Medicine Show
Hello Hollywood
Late Night Habit
The Monster Goes Rawrr!!
Stay
Y Stereo
Amplexus
Sailing To Rome
The Bay State
A Rotterdam November
Run Kid Run
Rushmore Academy:3
If this is some kind of joke I will murder every single one of you.
well if this is true, i’ll be at the hurley stage all day.
If this is true, there is NO WAY anyone’s keeping me from warped this year.
oh my god this better not be a joke this is just amazing oglfkjsd;flk.
if this is true, I can die happy.
I normally don’t reblog these, but if this is legitimate, I will take going next year into serious consideration.
if this is legit, i’m calling off of work right now?
(Source: framingmike, via blackcalendula)
ASHLEY AND I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY SAM ELLIOTT IS SEXY AS FUCKING HELL
i’d smash
yes especially in roadhouse
my mom fucking loves him haha
FUCK YES I DID!!Reblog if you had one of these as a child.
I had like 5
i think i still have something like this actually
Oh my god, xD Yes!
I HAD THIS SAME EXACT THING
yesss
I had about 3
(via killingt1me)
….ugh
i wish i didn’t feel like this all the time.. i wish even more that he never gave me a reason to feel this way.. i want to stop thinking all the time. i want to stop worrying. i want to just feel normal again..
i wish i knew when this would all stop..
wow..
last night was like nothing ever before. it was like the first time all over again, except it was even better than the original first time..
…the worst is over… <3
reposted here for the non-PRDers..
i’ve been doing a lot of reading about dealing with infidelity and i’m at such a loss. i don’t know what i want to do. i know it’s going to take a long time for me to make a decision at all, but i feel like everyone will judge me for this. i’m not saying yes i’m definitely going to take him back and i’m not saying i’m going to get divorce papers. i’m not saying i’m making a decision today and i’m not saying i’m making a decision six months or even a year from now. i always swore to myself that if this situation ever presented itself, that would be it - i’d be done. unfortunately, actually being in the situation has skewed my judgment. i’m no fool, that’s for sure, but how do you automatically turn your feelings off for someone who you’ve loved more than anything for the past three years? i can’t do it. i hate him so much right now but deep down i have such a deep love for him that i just can’t disreguard that.
i’ve been talking to him through text and on the phone.. we’ve been around each other in person and it’s still awkward. he watches Roxy at our house while i’m at work until its time for him to take her to our babysitters’ houses.. he hasn’t been staying there at night or anything. we talked a lot last night and i found out exactly what happened. he told her that he can’t do it anymore and that Roxy and i are his main piorities along with getting help with a lot of issues he has deep down that’s he’s had for a while. he’s going to get conseling and i think we may go see a counselor together as well. i want to be civil enough for Roxy so she doens’t go through the messy life of a child of divorced parents like my brother and i did.
my parents are understandably against any sort of communication with him. i try talking to my mom and it’s “don’t feel sorry for him” “move on” “he’s not worth anything.” she’s gone through a divorce from my father over infidelity. i understand her position, but i need support right now in trying to figure out where i go from this point. right now, my main goal is to be able to move past this and not let his infidelity define who i am. i need to be okay with this before anything else. i need to get past being depressed and sad. someday, i hope that he and i can work on our friendship at the very least. no one knows what tomorrow will hold. i just need to be at peace with my own decisions and i’m so afraid it’s going to cause another family rift which i do not need at this point in my life.
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
